My Mother was a woman of ‘wit and grit,’ we summarized in her August 2023 obituary.  Mother wanted so badly to make it to 100.  Many times, during her later years, we were told to prepare for good-bye, but somehow, she would endure and make a comeback that could be the envy of a battle-worn prize fighter. She never ceased to amaze us.

Her quest was not just to ‘make it’ to 100.  Her conditions included retaining full mental faculties, as well as clinging to as much autonomy, independence and physical strength as possible.

Mother was well-known for her phenomenal memory and attention to detail.  She balanced her checkbook to the penny as long as her eyes allowed, and she amazed the medical community with her ability to list her prescriptions.  As long as she could drive or be driven, she kept Belk’s in business.  If the opportunity arose to take a trip, she cared not one whit what the destination may be…. she just loved to GO! She always said she must have a little bit of gypsy in her soul. She loved to laugh and was quick with a quip.  She also had an uncanny ability to compose poetry and recite it from memory.

The week of Mother’s 98^th birthday party she suffered a setback that would mark the beginning of the end.  A large hematoma appeared on the calf of her left leg.  The day before her party found us in the ER at Kings’ Daughters Medical Center, draining and dressing the wound. She had agreed to an ambulance ride to the hospital, but we were able to transport her back home in my car.  On the way home, she had me to stop by the Old Koke Plant to pick up a hearty plate of fried chicken and assorted country style vegetables for her, as well as plates for the rest of us.  I told her that we could suspend her party, to which she would not agree.  We made accommodations, which included dismantling and conveying a recliner to the church fellowship hall a mile away.  She was ferried to and from the church in our side by side, gently lifted by strong grandsons. 

She was Queen for a Day, seated on her recliner throne, propped with pillows and cushions, covered with a soft throw.  She insisted on maintaining appearances, covering her injured leg with a quilt. Gifts, praise, and accolades were heaped upon her by friends and family, highlighting her value-added contributions to our lives.  It was a glorious day. Her parting words were, “Remember all these good things you have had to say, because I want to hear them again next year at my 99^th.”

The next 94 days were marked by ambulance trips, wound care, home health nurses, therapies of various kinds, hospice chaplains, visits from family and friends, lots of questions, stories, recordings, and instructions from Mother.  A lot of tears, but a lot of laughter as well.  Every day, she persevered in an inspiring and amazing way, as she pressed toward the mark of April 6, 2025. 

August 1, 2023 she rose, victorious over Death, more than a conqueror of Life.  She was only 613 days short of her goal. 

Mother was not perfect.  Who is? Certainly not me. But our 64 year relationship was marked with strong devotion, one towards the other. “Regrets, we had a few, but then again, too few to mention,” as Old Blue Eyes (Frank Sinatra) would say, “We did what we had to do. “

Sometimes a sassy little four-year-old girl who replies to her mother’s offer to take her outside church for some needed correction, “Ha Ha Ha you can’t take me outside to spank me, because we didn’t come in our car!” has to learn otherwise.  Through streaming tears, she has to face facts that yes indeed, your mother CAN take you to your Aunt Geneva’s car and blister your tail.  Ouch.

Sometimes a stubborn teenager who thinks she can refuse to smile when her mother wants to capture a freeze-frame of her baby girl beside a lake on a family trip has to learn that her equally stubborn mother WILL take that picture to preserve for perpetuity that petulance. Ouch again.

Sometimes a young mom will allow the grandmother to watch her first baby for a few hours but insist on providing a page of instructions that ends with, “If all else fails, pull off his socks and let him play with his feet.”  That young mom has to live through enough babies to see the ‘cuteness’ of her giving instructions to an experienced 55-year-old woman who had raised four children and several grandchildren.  Mother must have thought it was mighty cute, because that note is something else that has survived 44 years.

Sometimes an inner child has to reach out to her mother again and again, as she marries, has babies, loses babies, struggles through life, loses her beloved husband, faces life as a single parent, and learns to love again. 

Sometimes the mother has to lean on the daughter to read the words she can no longer see, to repeat (loudly) the words she can no longer hear, to do the driving, to do the shopping, and a myriad of other chores no longer achievable.

 Sometimes the two have to draw on the strength of each other. God designed us that way and provided the means.  All in all, we did what we had to do.

Picture, if you will, a relay race featuring two women.  Two runners, surging toward the finish line.  One stumbles, and falls, injuring herself to the point she cannot rise to complete the journey.  The race is lost. The other stops. Turns. Sees the years of training and preparation and desire…. all those dreams, dying in the dust.  She walks back to the fallen companion.  She scoops her up, and all but carries her to the mark, and they finish the race together.

Mother did not see her quest through.  But there is a way she can ‘live’ on her 100^th birthday. And beyond. I commit to tell her story, the story of a woman who loved and lost, who laughed and cried, who knew tragedy and triumph.  A woman of wit and grit.   

My goal is to present a series of stories, installments in the life and times of a remarkable woman.  I hope you will join me in my race.  Her life, an integral part of my own, will play an integral part of this site as we highlight some of the hopes, dreams, struggles, and conquests of our life here at Sugarberry Hill Farms. Come along with me.